Saturday, October 22, 2005
She Shoots, She Scores!
Ok, head's banging again and I've only just gotten out of bed after some heavy duty bucket filling. Tia's on tea and toast duty and the best I can manage is watching darts on the portable. But as Sara's so eager to hear I'll knock this out.
So got to Rumours last night, looked out for Rhidian - didn't see him so I got some drinks in for me and Ashanti (what - you didn't think I'd go alone did you. I may be thick, but I ain't stupid like.)
So I thinks he may be running a bit late, as he'd said he was going for a drink with the boys first like. Anyway, we sits and gasses a bit because we's both a bit pissed by now. Me and 'Shants was having a game of bingo first at the Castle and we had a £50 line plus a few of the cheapo boozes and was getting increasingly hammered.
So, we sits in the bar bit for a bit before going through to the club, until they moves us on. We go into the club which is starting to fills up a bit when I spots this couple in the corner going hammer and tongs. I spots them because she has the same Splott Market Von Dutch top as what I's got on. They come up for air and then I realise who the bloke is. Its none other than our Rhidian.
So I goes over, coughs, and he looks at me blankly, not recognising me. She turns around and gives it all, 'yeah, what are you lookin' at?' And I smile - I goes - 'Is that Rhidian your with there' and he's looking all blank, so she backs off and I shakes his hand and sits by him. Introduces myself. Ashanti's kind of standing alongside seeing the looks that tart had given us and arms folded starring down at her.
I holds out my hand as if to shake and say's Shazza here. He looks at this other girl, then at me. Now its fair to say we both looked fairly similar, other than the fact she had about an extra stone and a half on her arse. Longish black hair pulled back in a tight pony tail and some big goold hopes in our ears. But she was missing a tooth at the front and riddled with acne.
The penny drops don't it. So he starts spluttering, knocks his drink over and says "but she's Sharon" - she looks at him and goes "yeah love, Sharon Jones in it", so I says 'funny, I's a Sharon as well, Sharon Bates of Ely. Where's you from?"
"Riverside" she says. So I looks at Rhidian, who's now so red he's glowing brighter than the disco lights. "H'ok, I'll see you around Rhidian - I can see you's busy like" and leaves him at it. Sharon gives us a stinker of a look as we leave, her hand on Rhidian's knee so Ashanti make's to go for her. But I grabs her just in time and says don't bother. We were gone a moment later. I didn't look back.
So - that was that. Rhidian, thanks for a wonderful night. Its not like I had any expectations, I could barely remember the bloke myself. But as it turns out you did me a big favour.
From Rumours we went into town to Kiwis for some late night drinks and dancing and ended up hooking up with a couple of Rugby players who play for Cardiff Blues. They took us back to one of their flats, real posh they were, overlooking the Millennium Stadium and we had lots more booze and some hot action. Ashanti had the sofa and I went back to mine's room.
Real nice shit, he knew his stuff, silk sheets, mirrors the works. I felt like a porn star. We could of stayed over but the kids wouldn't have approved us leaving them to there own devices any longer. I wish I could remember the blokes name. He said they were playing Leeds today so I'll see if I can spot him on Scrum V. He'll be the one with a big Shazza sized smile on his face who probably ends up playing really badly 'cos his energies been sapped.
Posted by Chav Mum at 4:38 PM
2 Comments:
Hey Shar, glad you got some - and with what sounds like a real man. Silk sheets, eh? Yummy.
Oh my God Sharon, I feel so bad, I'm so so sorry. I feel dreadful. I don't know how I can ever make this up to you. I can't believe this happened. I can't believe I was so stupid. She looked like you, right down to the clothes. My memory couldn't picture your face as perfectly as I could the week before, and I wasn't sure how much I'd made up and how much the alcohol had distorted my memories of you.
But seeing you there I don't know how I could have thought she was you. I know I know I know you must have felt rotten, but it really was a big misunderstanding. She kept looking at me like she knew me, and I wasn't sure so I asked her, 'are you Sharon?' and she said yes and I said I couldn't wait to give her a good time and then she was all over me.
It all went down the pan after you left, she took me to her flat, her boyfriend was passed out on the couch with what looked like heroin works lying on the floor. She took me to their bedroom, it was horrid, its smelt of nappies and her baby was in the room as well. Worse still, she then tried to charge me for engaging her services. I can't believe it. I couldn't touch her when I realised what was going on. I almost cried. I gave her the only money I had to make up for getting her out of the club early and left.
I spent most of yesterday and today listening to my saddest records and crying because I messed up something that would have been amazing. Seeing you there again in all your glory, I know your my girl. I want to make it up to you. I'm not angry you went and found someone else, I can't blame you or hold it against you, but please Sharon, can you ever give me another chance? I could have emailed this to you, but I wanted everyone to know my side of the story as well. I'm sorry, so sorry, please let me try and make it back up to you if you can.
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