Sunday, March 20, 2005
What A Weekend
Well I's only just feeling human (don't know his name haha) after the amazing weekend. Tyson had Tia Marie for me all weekend (penance for the latest summons) and I went out with the girls for a rugby rave-up.
Never have a flashed me wares to so many men in such a short time. It was such a good atmosphere. Wales won the big match and the grandslam COME ON! Town was heaving and the atmosphere was top. I got nothing but propositions and snogs all day and ended the night with a quick and dirty in the back lane behind Club Rumours with one of the several handsome red-shirted blokes what made advances and bought me drinks. Don't ask me who because I was absolutely minging by then.
Then to scoop it all, walking home drippin' I bumped into some bloke that I often see around the 'state and we staggered up Grand Avenue together, to my house for a nightcap and bob's probably gonna be an Uncle if I don't get to the Doctors first thing in the morning for one of them pills... Dunno where the girls ended up either, they all looked like they was getting lucky with the married men sharks of Rumours.
And as for that Gavin Henson, he could do me any day, but I hear he's got a thing going with that Charlotte Church bird. The injured captain Gareth Thomas could have his way as well, shame he's already taken or else I'd be asking him to marry me. Anyways, the boys did us pround and to celebrate I'm going to order Tia Marie a Wales jersey from the catalogue. What a weekend to be Welsh.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Healthy Eating And Healthier Living
I watched this in a drunken stupor last week and will be watching it tonight . It's good to see that the millions he made advertising Sainsbury's haven't gone to his head and he still cares about people pushing processed food at nippers. I fully support Jamie in his quest for healthy food and ethical standards in the food industry.
It was a shame to see him dissin' the Bates' family home favourite Sunday lunch of turkey twisters and chips, but at the end of the day, that is the only unhealthy meals we have here in Chez Bates.
I pride myself in keeping Tyson and Tia Marie healthily fed. They get the best - Diet Coke, low fat Princess hotdogs, Dalepak Beef Grills, Walkers Lites, Kia-Ora and plenty of fresh vegetables in the form of McCain Home Fries and Birdseye Potato Waffles. We keep snacks to a minimum - two Mars in the afternoon, washed down with Diet 7-Up and a big bag of Walker's Doritos for supper, with a Twix.
I know me kids are fit as well, Tia must be fit to carry the extra 6 stone of puppy fats she manhandles daily and Tyson can do the 100 yard dash faster than you can shout "here come the rossers!" I'll watch Jamie tonight to get more tips - but the vegetable stuff could be a bit tricky as Happy Shopper only carry carrots, and none of us like 'em.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Why Is School SOOOO Early?
I mean why for the love of God? Tyson doesn't usually get in till gone midnight, and his lil' sis Tia Marie was up till 10.30 eating quavers and watching MTV. We didn't wake up this morning till 10.30 by which time it was too late to even think about school, so I took Tia to MacDonalds as a treat, and left Tyson get on with some homework. Something to do with electronics and rewiring the fluies on the Saxo.
If they started school at 11:00, the little buggers would be there more often, wouldn't they. It's pathetic.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Welcome to Chav Mum
Alright loves! This is lush in it! Me son Tyson came in with this foldy computer thing, we plugged it in the wall and before I knows it I'm yur with you all sharing my secrets and stories. So hello, and my son tells me that I can reach anyone here in the world so Bill Gates Or George Clooney - 200 fags and a case of Lambrini (a girl's got to have aspirations) and we can be good friends. Good friends. Tyson will even put his stereo up loud when your round. Hehehe! As if?
Anyways, the weekends here. Me and the girls are off on the piss tonight, child benefit came in yesterday and I'm away. Mashed!
Catch you soon loves. Keep it Burberry!!!
