Saturday, June 25, 2005
Whoa, I'm Going To E-Beat-Saaa
Yeah! Just as well the lobster like suntan I got last week has stopped peeling and started going brown, as me and Ashanti is off to Ibiza tomorrow! She scooped the link game at the Castle Bingo a couple of nights ago, and as for thanks for looking after her whilst she was in plaster she's booked us both on a last minuter to Ibiza, going tomorrow morning!
I can't wait. Two weeks of shagging, boozing and sun. Best of all, no kids! I'm leaving Tyson in charge of Tia for the fortnight (he's promised only one party and no late nights) so I've left him the child benefit to get them fish and chips for their tea and they can have the stir-fry rices which have been building up in the freezer.
Ashanti's two eldest (14 and 13) have the duties of looking after her younger ones whilst we let our hair down and kick it up. They are about as excited as we are to see us go. Tyson will be in charge of them if there's any agro. And no, I'm not heartless, Nana will pop in every few days to check on 'em and cook them fry-up and sausage when they get fed up of Clarksies and chips. I can't wait!!! If its quiet around here, you know why. See you soon loves!
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Tia's Da Bagpuss
I's a little pissed tonight. Its been a glorious day and me and the kids spent it sat in the garden slurping Carling Black. When I say we, I don't mean the kids, just me, Ashanti and Tyson and the older lots of Ashanti's bunch. Tia was of course slurping copius bottles of KwikSave Cola.
Its been so hot even the Goth family were wearing white t-shirts for a change. The Goth lot didn't look happy for we had some classical music blaring out the window for me and Ashanti. Best of UB40, class stuff for a summers day.
Anyway, we practically roasted, and I just got Tia to bed, and she looks like bagpuss. She sat out in the sun all day wearing just her knickers and soaking up them rays. So I think she has caught the sun a bit (like us all, we is all lobster pink) as the visible bits of her skin look like bright boiled ham. Then she moves a bit and the rolls of fat shift to reveal pasty white hidden bits. So I is now calling her Bagpuss. Hahaha.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
We Is Posh Now
Well, we must be posh now because according to the high and mighty BBC, we is now in their Dictionary. However, once again those media ponces who invent these words have got it all arse backwards and offensive. They describe a Chav as "a young working class person who dresses in casual sports clothing." Which has had me pulling me friggin' hair out. Flamin' cheek, I've never worked in me friggin' life - none of us have.
And there's nothing casual and sporting about Von Dutch or Burburry, they is high class designer gear, which is why the coppers always confiscate 'em off the stalls at Splott Market as they're too good for the likes of us lot, which is why we wants to wear 'em all the time.
OK, so we can't afford big fancy house and flash cars like them rich working class types, but a bit of the old bling, a few mods on the Saxo and some stylish clobber like Gucci and Versace and we is as good as you. Live with it.
I was wondering why they had this photo of Ashanti on the page, but when I showed it to her she laughed and said it was off some show called "Little Britain" - more Chav bashing from BBC. Well, let me tell you Mr BBC, until you start showing some class stuff on their like Celebrity Love Island, Greatest Police Shoot-outs and Footballer's Wives, I will remain not knowing much about what you got on. Sort your dictionary out and get it right for once.
