Friday, January 27, 2006
I'm Showing You My Meme For Free
Dio emailed me earlier to say he'd tagged me to do a meme. I thought it was some sort of weird French pet but when I looked at his meme it became apparent. I remember I did one before but I thought I do this one as well. Its called 4 Things. I weren't able to fill them all in though, all the times. Not like any of you care anyway, but here's mine.
Four Jobs I?ve Had- N/A
- The Fast And The Furious
- 2 Fast 2 Furious
- 8 Mile
- Pretty Woman
- Ely, Cardiff
- Top Of The Pops
- Celebrity Love Island
- Footballer's Wives
- Bad Girls
- Ibiza, Greece
- All over Eastern Europe in a lorry!
- Porthcawl, Wales
- Barry Island, Wales
- Chips and a Clarks Pie
- Chips and Sausage
- Chips and Burger
- Chips and Turkey Twizzlers
- Chips and Pork Chops
- Shagging Deke
- In Deke's lorry
- On The French Algarve supping wine
- Castle Bingo in Canton
So there. In other news, me and Ashanti's off tonight, Deke had another last minute call up so is away for the weekend, so me and me gal is out to Bingo then Kiwis. Hopefully with a few quids winnings and a new fella for Shants. I's off the wagon though.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Romance Dies
Oh well, following on from what I said yesterday, it seems I won the cums contest after all. Ashanti confided she'd faked six of hers in an exaggerated attempt to get Mr Jones finished so she could get some kip. I only faked three of mine!
She was around last night - it seems Mr Jones has been rumbled. One of Mr Jones' wife's friends saw them snogging outside Rumours on Friday as the went home in a Taxi, and the old gossip got back to the wife yesterday.
Seems he turned up last night with his suit cases packed. I heard a bit of aggro outside but didn't pay any attention. So Shant's sent him on his way - told him he was fed up of his correcting her grammar and looking down on her and no, he most certainly wasn't coming in to stay.
It had been nice shags but bye-bye. So Mr Jones is now gone. Not bad going, the last time I remember her doing that long with one bloke was back around child number two. She's over it already, she wants to go to Kiwis on Friday to pull some bloke she knows from the Bingo, but Mr Jones it appears, has fallen for her charms and is crest fallen at his rejection. Ah well, best get shot of him, not like he can be trusted anyways.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Romance Blossoms
Well, finally getting back to normality after our wicked Trans European journey. My stomach's settled down after all that exotic grub and Tia's speaking to me again. Apparently when she woke up the morning after we left to find me gone without saying goodbye, she had a right old strop. Tyson was quite grown up about it though and gave her a 12 pack of Monster Munch to calm her down. He's turning into such great parenting material bless him.
She sulked when we got back even with all the presents we got her. I even bought her a Large Big Mac Meal from the Culverhouse McDonalds on the way home, she wouldn't touch it. The little madam, its not like I don't deserve a break once in a while. She know's I loves her like. I got a cuddle last night so it must be on the mend. She'll get a bit of warning next time I goes - which may not be too long away. Deke's already wondering what I's doing for Valentine's Day.
It just gets better and better. We went to Rumours last Friday night. We had a foursome (not like that silly) as Shant's managed to get her teacher fella out as well. I don't think she was feeling romantic, she just wanted some free booze and a guaranteed shag was what she told me.
Apparently Mr Jones told his wife he was out on a works do in Tonypandy and would be staying at a colleague's house. Sly bugger. I've spoken to him once or twice but not much. Seems alright other than the using Shant's a sex toy bit, and the lying to the wife and kids. But she's said to me recently she's just happy for the action and the lack of commitment, keeping the old wheels greased and all that.
We had a wicked night in Rumours, but I don't think Deke and Mr Jones got on too well, they just about bared each other's company. No to worry though, we had a few beers back at mine afterwards and then called it a night.
I think Mr Jones and Deke had a bit of a compo going on behind the scenes, for who could get the most cums out of us. It was like Friday night in the Canton masseurs with the synchronized shagging. One moment it was me groaning like a repentant priest, the next we could hear Shant's coming through the wall like a stuck pig. We called it a draw in the end. Seven all. I's still walking a bit funny as well. Deke's a bit on the bony side.
We both got some stinking looks from some of the Rumours regulars though - they're not used to seeing us arrive with blokes, despite they often try to be the ones we go home with.
Ah well. Time to get tea on, me hearts all a flutter. I'm really falling for Deke I think, 'specially as I's smoking some of the 200 Duty Free Silk Cut he bough me back on Friday right now. Wicked - he can keep these sort of romantic gifts up all he wants.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
I's In love
Oh - I's so sorry I's not been around. I's had just the best week with my new fella Deke. And I didn't get a chance to tell you anything about him. We met New Year's Eve at the Rumours and I's seen him several times after that, usually ending up in some of the best, well, let's not go there yet.
Anyway's he's a lorry driver, does lots of trans-interballistic driving or something. He's always off to places like Europe and America in his lorry. How can I describe him. Well, he's a laugh, he's a bit older than me like, in his fifties, but he's got the body of a young'un.
He's very thin and wiry, has a couple of blotchy tattoos on his forearms and a full blonde hair that's quite short and curly. He's a bit like a cross between Sean Pertwee and his dad Wurzel Pertwee.
But he's so romantic - he won't even fart in the room when I'm there. How well trained is that?! Anyway, Friday night he comes banging on my door after tea. We'd been planning on going out together but he was in his trucking clothes. Turns out he's snagged a private job moving furniture to Spain, then picking up in Spain to go take stuff up to Knorway! What's more, he wanted me to join him in the passenger seat for a worldwind tour of the finest dining Eastern Europe has to offer!
How could I refuse? I phoned Tyson on his mobile and told him he was looking after Tia till I got back. Deke left them £30 for food and stuff, I packed some stuff and we went!
It was amazing, I wasn't bored once. We talked loads, Deke had some wicked tunes in his cab, and the back was just snug for the both of us. We had it off in some of the nicest truck lay-bys on the continent! We had some wicked dining as he promised, we had Big Mac in Barselona, steak and chips in Paris and Burger King in Tromso, Knorway.
I saw everything from sun to snow on the way. Their cultures and stuff are really like ours as well, I recognised loads of the tunes in the restaurants and they even had some of the same films on the posters. I didn't really see much beyond the roads though - but we was having such a good time, that was enough! My Deke's over again Friday - poor Ashanti will be thinking we're not friends soon. I'll tell you more later, but the main outcome of all this is... I think I'm in love!
Monday, January 09, 2006
Trisha Wants You
Happy New Year all my friends, I's had a wicked week. I hooked up with some fella called Deke at the New Year's bash, and again during the week for a pint or two at the Culverhouse (and a bit more in the Car Park) - I'll tell you more about that when I gets a chance to get it all down on paper. I's been walking crooked all week.
In the meantime though, I was thrilled at the weekend to get an Email from the Trisha Show's production team. I luvs the show and Trisha is a star. I'd love to go on myself one day, but Ashanti and three other friends on the estate knows why I can't. Let's just say there'd be bodies and more time in nick for certain people if I was seen out and recognised. we'll leave it at that.
Anyways, they wanted to know if there's anyone what I knows that might be emotionally disturbed, minging or chav enough to go on the show? Now I knows plenty like, but I thought as I get some right head-the-balls reading this site, you may want to apply yourselves.
So like, if you's got real shit problems and would like to share them with the rest of the chav army for some sound advice, find out what they's after on this webpage. Don't forget to tell them Chav Mum sent you!
I'll be back to tell you more about Deke laters as well, I's getting all flustered just thinking about it. I's got to get Tia some brunch now so I's all over the shop - just going to pop down to McDonalds. Laters!
Edit - In fact, Phil of the Tricia Show got back to me earlier and asked I gives this info if you wants to see if you's messed up enough to get on there.
Here's what he says - "If you could think of anyone you know that would be up for coming on the show - just pass my number on to them and tell them to ring me - or just drop me a line with their number and I will contact them myself! I am doing a show called 'Shameless' this Thursday - so if you can think of anyone you know! Pass my number on!
Could you put my e-mail address and phone number on your website so anyone could ring me if they want to sort out their problems. My number is 01603 281020 or e-mail."
