Friday, May 26, 2006
Swansea Gets Tango'd
Haha! Did you see this! They Tango'd Swansea. That'll teach them for the times the Swansea Jacks came here to force us to learn Welsh! If I was Tango though, I'd be suing SONY right now as it looks as though they ripped off that Tango advert, which is a bit naughty.
I've been sick as a pig this morning. Deke's away for the weekend and I'm gagging for a fag. I's stopped smoking in the days though. I can't wait till tonight, me and Ashanti are off to Bingo so I can have some then. I could do with getting pissed as well, I've been a good girl and not drinking weekdays. I'll make up for it tonight though, I'm missing Deke a lot. He's been away a lot the last week with work.
Anyway, wish me luck for tonight, I could do with a few bob towards the wedding costs. It's looking like Thursday 27th July now at the registry office. We're thinking Pizza Hut for the after service meal, then onto Kiwis. I'll let you know when it's all finalised!
Monday, May 08, 2006
Chav Jokes What Was Sent Me
Alright friends, I's been feeling a bit crap today - morning sickness. Things is going ok so far with babs, we's not had a scan yet but we will be. I's doing my best to keep the baby healthy, I's only smoking extra lights now and have cut my drinks to weekends only.
Deke has been a star, he's spoiling me rotten when he's here. He's out on the road a lot recently to earn extra money for the baby, so the wedding plans are taking a while to sort out. We've sort of decided on about the 22nd July as I shouldn't be showing to big by then. The doctors reckon it will be around Christmas time that the little beggar decides to show his head - so I hopes they have nice Christmas grub at the hospital.
In other news, Dio has invited me to be a moderator on his brand new Bingo Forum and Bingo Blog, so I will have to get posting there for him as it's a bit empty at the moment. I's off tonight for a game down the Castle with Ashanti tonight, can't wait.
Dio's promised he'll update my love and hate mail page as I've had some corkers recently that I want to share with you all. He's says he's been busy with his own stuff recently so i can forgive him I suppose. Someone sent me these Chav joke which I thought I'd share with you.
To be honest I don't get most of them and some of them are a bit sick, but looking at the mail I'll be getting some of you out there will appreciate them. Thanks to Spyda for sending 'em to me.
1. What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.
2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight ofstairs.
6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you lookin' at?"
10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police
12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.
13. What do you say to a chav with a job?
Can I have a big mac please
14. What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand
15. What do u call a knife in chav-ville?
Exhibit A
16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 4
17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.
18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, they'll screw anything.
19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.
20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
None, "That's some uvver fuckers job innit."
21. Why did the chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the carwash
22. Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
23. What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.
24. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee,"Before we order,could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"? The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
25. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins?
Society
